Day 3 – The Entrepreneurial Shift
Writing about what feels heavy or what we don’t like that we don’t have to do
Things I think I have to do that I might not have to do.
Things that just feel heavy that I’m doing or that exist in my business.
What am I putting money on or in because I think I need them or I’m scared I’ll fail without them? Ideas, Employees, aspects, etc.
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I think that I have done a lot of this work already, but now it feels as if I need to clean out the “dust bunnies” in the cracks and corners. I’ve quit a lot of things that I didn’t think served me. I unplugged from a couple of relationships and I’ve also quit jobs, my coaching professional organization, etc. I’ve quit going to a lunch with friends that gets far too politicized.
Here are some things though, and in general – Hiding feels heavy.
* Keeping my politics and religion quiet. While I’m not at all an extremist on any side, I do have my own moderate beliefs, which when conversations start, almost all of them feel heavy. I’m a Christian but often misunderstood if I mention that I am one, because the conversation isn’t allowed to unfold into the beauty I see as a Celtic Christian. I’ve often thought that Spiritual Direction rather than coaching might be a better “fit” for me. In both politics and religion, I’m inclusive and welcome so many points of view, but among my very liberal friends, my Christianity and a few moderate stances shut them down. With conservatives, my inclusivity, compassion, and support for LGBT rights as well as my strong INVESTIGATIVE notions into faith and hidden Christianity tend to shut them down. I LOVE talking with others who love to live in the messy middle. I HAVE built some wonderful friendships because I can reach across aisles, but those are rare.
* Over-intellectualizing energy ZAPS my creativity. I have clients who cling to this intellect, their credentials, certifications, “expert-ness”, extreme logic, extreme data-driven metrics, etc. They want all the answers “now” and there’s no room for wonder, imagination, or passion. I wonder at times why they call on me. Sometimes I feel like i’m “that artist over there who I can use to attract X clients as he will help with that…” or “Scott will help me understand who I need to market to so I can bring in that demographic.” So I feel used by those in some businesses and over analyzing paradigms.
* Dropping my dog off and picking her up is heavy. (sharing custody with my ex) I need a solution where one of us keeps her. I’d like that person to be me. I’m flung sometimes weekly or every 2-weeks into slight anxiety in meeting my ex, and I’m still in that “I’m divorced and here’s what’s happening” old story. I need to close the book on that one.
* Chasing money is heavy. However, I feel I’m good at finding creative ways to manifest it. I like creating first, then allowing it to flow, rather than “finding a patron first” and then being dictated by their will or resistance.
* Driving to and being in a large city is heavy. I rarely meet clients in Minneapolis anymore, and often I don’t like meeting friends there because I don’t like the drive, and I don’t like battling traffic.
* in coaching – I feel a bit of heavy pressure to “grab” insights and to bring them to a session, often faster than they maybe should come about. Sometimes I do it to get folks out of heavy circular conversation where they are still just in their head. But perhaps these aren’t my people.. it’s not the conversation. I almost like it better when there’s something FIRST to unlock a portion of a conversation, where we’re already in an imaginative, metaphysical, or sprit realm/space.